| Whoz livejournal?1 |
[Posted on: 11/23/2009 @ 04AM ] |
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Soooo.... Kinda forgot this exsisted. Hahaha. It's been over a year since I updated, apparently. And I'll more than likely forget about it again after this post. Poor LJ... I just never loved yo.
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| I don't know |
[Posted on: 04/18/2008 @ 02AM ] |
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Blah |
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You know, I just found out that there are still chats going on. I didn't know that. I haven't been in one, or invited to one in like.... Seriously, two months. It's odd to me... I was talking to Nili about it and she had said that me not being invited to chats by people isn't a new thing, since she was really the only one who did it anyways. But because she was never on, she said that's why no invites came anymore.
I... don't know what to feel about this.
I know I feel hurt and lonely though.
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| Oro? |
[Posted on: 03/28/2008 @ 02PM ] |
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Ritual Dance - Kaki King |
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Where is everybody?
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| Fuckity fuckfuckfuck |
[Posted on: 03/10/2008 @ 10PM ] |
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Coughing, and also Live And Let Die - Wings |
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FYI, you guys won't see me online much for a while. My monitor blew up during what I'm going to refer to as WORST WEEK EVER week, and the one I'm using, I can barely see pictures, words, colors, etc. Since this monitor is from, like, 1982. Anyways, I love you fools, and seriously, text me, or at least send me a mobile message over aim. I'm lonely, dammit!
LOVE YOU ALL
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| Well |
[Posted on: 02/01/2008 @ 12AM ] |
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I miss some people. Where is everyone?
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| Y eahhhhhh |
[Posted on: 12/02/2007 @ 11PM ] |
It's been a hell of a month. That's all I've got to say.
= ~ ^
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| Almost Blahdegah |
[Posted on: 10/24/2007 @ 12AM ] |
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Pretty Handsome Awkward - The Used |
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I don't really have much to say. Other than I'm in pain, I miss a bunch of you and don't talk to you as much as I'd like to (please, let's change this), I hate 10 hour shifts (and new kids who force you to have to stay 2 extra hours), and yeah.
*deep breath*
I need a vacation.
I love you all. Seriously. All my heart.
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| Copypasta |
[Posted on: 10/08/2007 @ 07PM ] |
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Sounds of Wind - My Fan |
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Well, I haven't posted here in a while, so... Um, I'm just going to repost the thingy I put on Facebook.
I haven't talked to a lot of my online peoples recently. Except for the ones who text/call. But yuh, I figured an update was in order.
I guess first and foremost, my grandma passed away. She wasn't a blood relative, but my stepmother's mom. But for the past 11, 12 years, she really has been my grandma too. We're actually burying her in a little under 7 hours. Ain't that a bitch. But yeah, it was a shock that she died. She'd been fighting cancer for the last few months now. But a few days ago, she had a mild heart attack. They thought she was getting better, but in just a few minutes, all vitals dropped. And I'm attending the fifth funeral of my life.
Let's seeeeee.... Got accepted into Akron for the Spring semester. Which means I have to find a place over there prettttty soon, unless I just go ahead and hold off until the 2008-2009 school year. Regardless, I have my feet in the door, I'm in school now, and it's just a matter of when I want to start. And when I can wrangle up enough money to get an apartment somewhere.
Hmmm.... Oh, my birthday was last week. Or two weeks ago. Or however long ago the 25th was. Thank you too all who called, texted, left messages, and left me love. It's more appreciated than I can say.
Fuck... I'm 23 now... x.x
I got tickets to the Browns vs Dolphins game for this coming Sunday. Which I'm fucking PUMPED about. I haven't been to a Browns game since their last home game before the team moved to Baltimore. PUMPPPPPPEEDDDDDDD~!
And.... Seriously, there's probably more, but it's late (or early) and it's going to be a rather crazy day. So I suppose I should go lay down and pretend to be tired, in hopes of tricking myself to fall asleep.
I miss a bunch of you punks. Seriously, text or call me whenever you'd like. I may not be at my computer much anymore, but I'm never too busy to talk, whether I'm working or not.
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| Food |
[Posted on: 08/18/2007 @ 11PM ] |
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You're As Cold As Ice - Foreigner |
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I'm eating a potato cake. And a crispy chicken, bacon, cheddar sandwich. And I'm drinking Sierra Mist.
I'm also currently talking to Erika, and Julia over the internets.
My dog just barked. My fan is loud. My ears hurt, along with my nose, and left wrist/hand.
Today was a slow day at work, owing to the fair being held down the street. I didn't complain.
Um... That's it. I miss a bunch of you. Hope you're well. Not many of us talk these day. I don't know why.
Love you all.
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| *yawns* |
[Posted on: 08/15/2007 @ 11PM ] |
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Symphony of the 3 fans |
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Who's fallen off the face of the earth?
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| HAHAHAHAHAAAArry Potter |
[Posted on: 07/15/2007 @ 02PM ] |
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Something from GOF soundtrack |
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Well, I'm back from California. Which means I didn't die. It was lot'sssss of fun, but would have been even better if I'd gotten to meet up with Risa. = (
Harry Potter week starts innn... *checks* ....... five and a half hours..... X_X;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I won't be on my computer from about now through the end of July, so if you want to reach me, my phone will be on all week. Lol.... I remember last Harry Potter week, Audrey called a bunch of times, and would just spend a half hour on the phone, busting up laughing from all the fake British accents we were using. *sigh* Memmmmmmmmmmoriesssssssssssssss~
Anyways, I GOTTA GO! I love you all, and I'll be seeing over half of my list in just a few days. = D *CAN'T WAIT!!!* Oh, the Otakon site put up the schedule too, if you didn't know and wanted to take a look.
*APPARATES A-WAY*
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| OH NOES!!! |
[Posted on: 06/29/2007 @ 04AM ] |
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Divinity II - Nobuo Uematsu |
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Leaving the house for the airport in just about 12 hours.
- Laundry washed ~ None
- Things packed ~ None
- Guitar Hero played ~ A lot
- Time wasted on iTunes ~ A lot
Current Ready Status ~ 0%
XD
Anywho, yeah, I'll be gone soon. Just wanted to say I love you all, AND TEXT ME AND CALL ME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!
That is all.
*loveswaves*
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| Mehhh |
[Posted on: 06/25/2007 @ 09AM ] |
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The Henrich Maneuver - Interpol |
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I get into these momentary lapses of sadness sometimes. I feel kinda dumb about it when it happens, but hey, emotions are dumb like that, and they seem to always pwn me a little bit. This morning, I'm being owned by my thoughts about friendship. I've been observing how people interact with each other a lot recently. I'll just sort of watch a conversation two or three people are having together at work, in the chat, at home with the family. And then I'll sort of take that and compare it to how the interaction is between my own friends and myself.
I can watch two customers sit out in the dining room, and talk about absolutely stupid, random shit for an hour. And another two who will sit there and only say a few things to each other the entire time. I look at the first couple and think to myself 'Wow, those two must really enjoy each others company. The conversation continues about absolutely nothing, but they keep talking anyways, and they're having a great time' and then I look at the second couple and think 'Man... that seems kind of awkward. Conversation just sort of drops off. It doesn't seem like they really want to talk to the other.'
And I feel like most of the conversations I have are like the ones with that second couple. I feel like it's my fault too, constantly. Even with my closest friends. Maybe it's because of my personality? Maybe they just have nothing else to say? Maybe I scared them? Maybe they lost interest? Maybe busy? We don't have enough in common to find something to talk about? Things like that. It's never really an issue when I'm out somewhere with somebody, like the people who come into the store. But if I'm on the phone, or I'm texting someone, or I'm chatting online, it just always seems like the conversation drops off.
And it sucks ass.
I don't know though. I think back to that first couple though, and how they still find just random shit to talk about and are happy, and converse. The majority of customers who come in the store are like this. Most of the people online whose conversations I observe are like that too. I've tested to see whether I can do this too, just bring up random stuff and talk about it like everyone else does. But it dies out quickly. I'm seriously at a loss! I'm not TOO bad of a conversationalist, so maybe that's not it. Maybe it is. I really don't know. Maybe I make people feel uncomfortable, and that's it. Or maybe they genuinely just don't want to talk.
I don't knowwwwwwwwwww
I just don't know what to do to make myself stop feeling sad about it. Because whenever I seem to try, it seems to be the same result. I feel almost jealous of other people's relationships they have with their friends. I don't know. I already feel dumb from having bitched about this for this long. I need to go kill myself on the elliptical at the gym now. AND FUCKING GET OFF THIS DAMN CHAIR!.
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| Gatorade owns my soul. ORANGE GATORADE |
[Posted on: 06/24/2007 @ 02AM ] |
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Rustling from my clothes being taken off |
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Stolen from, well, everyone else who did it already
My Personality
| | Neuroticism | | Extraversion | | Openness To Experience | | Agreeableness | | Conscientiousness | |
| You are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone. Stressful and frustrating situations can be upsetting to you, but you are generally able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You have some concern with others' needs, and are generally pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.
| Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report
Our range of Online Survey Software |
Hmm.....
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| I want my sour cream & chive potato |
[Posted on: 06/21/2007 @ 01AM ] |
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Hang Me Up To Dry - Cold War Kids |
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I think this post is necessary right now. For me, and for a lot of other people, mebbe. So I'll start this here, then copypasta it on my Myspace as well.
I'm not very good at showing how I truly feel about the people I'm friends with. Some think I'm distant and don't like them. Some really do know how I feel about them. Some have no clue. Most think they do, but really don't. But it's my fault, because I don't say much, or show it very much. But I'm going to try and change that here.
So this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to ask you right now, whether or not you want to know how I feel. Regardless of what you think, and regardless of how much it would pain me to say it, I'll come out and say how I feel. I won't do it though, unless you'd like to know. So I'm going to screen all of my comments, so you won't feel pressured into not saying whether or not you wanted to know. That's pretty much the only way I'll feel alright in saying how I feel, if I know that you want to know. I figure it will be easier to ask me too, if it's this way. Nobody likes just coming out and asking someone something like that.
Just know that I don't hate anyone, and I won't go on an 'OMG I HATE YOU SO MUCH' tirade.
*loves*
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[Posted on: 06/15/2007 @ 02AM ] |
*fixed*
yayyy
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| x.x |
[Posted on: 06/14/2007 @ 01AM ] |
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x.x
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| *ded* |
[Posted on: 06/12/2007 @ 02AM ] |
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A fan |
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Well.... My internet is ded. I'm using my phone's internet to get on here to type this now. There's a good chance it'll be down for quite a while, too.
= (
Text me. Call me. LOVE ME! This is going to suck.
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| I'm in your head like a rat in the walls |
[Posted on: 06/08/2007 @ 01PM ] |
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This Is Not The End - The Bravery |
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Yesterday wasn't fun. What ended up being less fun than yesterday, was my attempt at sleeping last night/this morning. So hottttttttt. x.x
Anyway, I was sticking to bed this morning, just thinking about how lucky penguins were, and I ended up thinking about some minor and major irritations. Pet peeves, in some cases. And so I decided since I haven't updated since the wheel was created, I'd go ahead and make a list. If you end up being an owner to one of the irritations, don't feel bad or anything. Or I keel you.
= )
- Messy eaters. Like, someone who is eating food, and the air around their mouth is like a vacuum. I would go out to eat somewhere with an ex girlfriend of mine and people would just stare in awe at how much food missed her mouth. It was almost amazing. Cept the part where it was more like *hides under hands* I don't care if you slop something onto yourself sometimes. I do it occasionally. But please world... Eat responsibly
- On that note, I also have an issue with people who eat with their mouths open. Like, you can hear them eating a room over. Or drinking loudly. Sometimes it can't be helped, I guess. But I find it to be the equivalent of rusty nails on a chalk board. The sad thing is, when I hear these those happening, I do it myself to block the sound of others doing it out. *massages forehead then dies* I find it funny though, that I actually find girls who are just totally out there and fun, attractive when they burp. I don't fucking know why. Burping girls: *random turn on?*
- I really hate when my text message tone goes off (right now, I have it so Howard Dean screams for every message I get from anybody) and I expect it to be someone, but it ends up not being that someone, and ends up being someone I don't want a text message from. Like random guy who got my number from Facebook whose name I barely remember but he wants to catch up. Or I expect one friend to text unexpectedly, then I get see who it's from and, though I'm more than happy to text with that person, I'm disappointed and feel stupid for expecting it to have been from someone different. Yeah, stupid on my part. But I find that a lot of my irritations are pretty stupid. = ) What can ya do?
- Phone conversations. Anyone who has had a conversation with me... Knows that I don't really say much. If I'm tired and feeling a bit kooky (did I just say kooky wtf) then I'm a bit more talkative. But if I'm not, then I don't say much. But don't get me wrong, I don't mind this. I've had conversations that went on for hours and hours that were basically just the sounds of breathing, random outbursts of singing, listening to whoever I'm on the phone with talking to other people, and random other things. And I'm absolutely fine with that. I believe the best conversations are those kind. I think Pulp Fiction said it best:
Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
And I think that is so true. Maybe on one level, it can mean a person isn't comfortable, or doesn't really know what to say. I find that either of those are cases with me sometimes. But most of the time, it's because I do feel comfortable. It's like I'm sitting at someone house just hanging out, and we don't have to do shit, because we just enjoy the company. If we end up going and playing a game, or talking about whatever, that's fine too. It's just that, and it's generally rare, I'm able to relax and just spend time with you. No words need to always be said. I don't know. It's how I've always been I guess. *shrugs* I hope I'm not alone on this one. But if I weren't, I'd be 'talking' on the phone a lot more.
- When my iPod freezes up and I can't unfreeze it and I have to wait for the fucking battery to die before doing anything with the damn thing. It pisses me off to no end. I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU DAMN IT WORK RARRRR!!!! It especially sucks on days like today, where I want to update it to match my iTunes, and then it freezes when you connect it. I need you for work, iPod. Why do you have to be an asshole today? Just fucking do your job and let's live in harmony with each other.
- Weight loss. Now, I love weight loss. But what I DON'T like is the act of losing weight. And by that, I mean I dislike the way legs and feet are feeling. Well, by feeling, I mean I can't really feel them at all. Which would be all fine and good if I didn't have to go and work on them for 8 hours. I think that I need an exercise sets of legs and feet, and a regular set for all my other needs. I believe firmly that being able to switch off between the two would make me at least 20% happier. Then again, I'm bad at math, so that is a random percentage. <.<;;
- Work. Work work WORK!!!! I don't mind working. The job itself is the easiest job I'll ever have in my life. Of course it's not what I want to do for the remainder of it, but it is easy money for the most part. But then there's the whole issue where the owner and Cindy (the store manager) believe that I'm stealing money from the store. Yeah. About that. No. I fucking WISH I'd have been stealing money from the store, so I wouldn't be so fucking broke. If I was going to be blamed for something, I'd at least wanted to have done it, and then get away from it. Instead, I feel completely untrusted, and though in the end I won't get blamed for it anymore, right now it sucks. I fucking got blamed and questioned about stealing money on Tuesday night. AND I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING WORK TUESDAY NIGHT, LET ALONE GO TO THE FUCKING STORE.
And then there are some of the people that work there. We have at least 4 people who Cindy hired that had come straight from the rehab center. Cindy's niece works there, and she's a huge crack head. Cindy's neighbor works there, and he's a crack head too. Did I mention that Cindy has done crack with both of them (both her niece and neighbor are 16)? And she told me on the phone the other night, after I got done with my 14 hours shift, that her and Tim (a friend/former manager there) had gotten high together several times? Yeah. So I have to ask myself... Is having an easy job really worth all the aggrivation? Right now, it doesn't seem like I have much of a choice. I just can't wait to get into the VA business. Or radio business. Either way the VA business. >.>
- Parents who think I'm a rapist. <.<;; I don't rape. I barely molest (unless I'm dating you). I'm too fucking introvert to be a rapist. I can barely force someone at work to do something, and I'm a manager there. To be honest, I'm not a very touchy kind of person. I went years and years without getting a solitary hug. For a long time, I had no human interaction what-so-ever. In a way, it kind of bothers me. In a way, it doesn't. I do love hugs. I love random pokes and little punches. But really, I'm very shy and quite around people. Of course I'm a perv. But then again, in comparison to most of my friends, I'm pretty tame. (and that makes me kinda want to be more pervy <.<;;; ) I don't know. I've gotten this from a few parents before. Most end up loving me because I'm very laid back and respectful all the time. But there are still those few who will hate me forever. I'm such a nice, caring, sweet, non-rapist person! I love parents! Especially when there's a hot mom involved! I just don't see the big deal.
- On that shy note.... Yeah, I'm shy. When it comes to intimate gatherings of people I don't know very well. I think most everyone knows how I met my ex. It was at a party. And I was hiding in a closet by myself, to get away from everyone. Sure if a friend comes up and starts talking to me, I'll be fine. But people I don't know make me nervous. I've gotten better about this over the years. Being in drama and doing public speaking stuff is why. But those are for groups I don't have to care about. Intimate gatherings are friends of friends. I feel like some random guy is going to come up to me and start talking. And if that happens, I want to throw myself out the window. I'm not the best of converstationalists (not really a word?), so when someone random comes up to me and wants to know about me, I freak. If I'm in large groups of friends, I tend to stay in the back while everybody else talks amongst themselves. I don't know why. I used to think it was because I was bitter about not being the center of attention. But I know now that's not the case. But I don't KNOW why I'm like that. It's just how I am. I like being with groups. I really do. But I'm the kind of person who'd rather go off with someone and just do something random, away from the group. *shrugs* I don't know. It's just a thing.
- Having an hour left before going to work. I hate that. It's even worse when it's 5 minutes, but having an hour left is rather groan-worthy. I think the good thing about going into work tonight will be I like the people I'm working with, and there's a thunderstorm rolling in. I love working when it's raining and storming. It's calming.
Hmm... Maybe tonight after I get home from work, I'll make a list of things I like. What do you think?
Anyways... Sorry for the rambling. Maybe one of you who read this will be able to relate to at least one of the same things.
= )
Love you guys.
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| Yeah |
[Posted on: 06/03/2007 @ 12AM ] |
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Above And Below - The Bravery |
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Today and tonight have just sucked. A lot of ass. I'm beyond stressed, to say the least. My job situation is sucking with people quitting and shit. My bank has fucked me over to the point where I don't even know how much money I have in it anymore. I'm overtired. Overly-emotional as well. Everything my friends say... I think I may be taking it the wrong way. All day long, that seemed to be the story. Everything just... Hurts. And I hate it, because this emo shit is stupid.
But I don't know what else to do. Sleeping won't work. I don't know what will calm me down. Nothing anyone says seems to help, but just hurts. I don't know. I need to settle down but don't know how.
And I just read my horoscope. Let me share.
"You may not have enough control over your personal life today, especially if you have to be a caretaker for someone else. After all, you don't like letting others down when they rely on you. Even if you resent the role you must play, save your complaining for another day. Sharing your annoyance will not bring you happiness. Instead, serve with a smile that truly originates from your heart."
Yeah..... Um.... Lol, that actually makes me feel slightly better. I suppose things could be worse. I just wish someone else knew how to make me feel better, when I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Love you all, and sorry for the bitching.
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